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Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Questions I ask myself

I like to think a lot. I like to ask myself questions. And the questions can range from the logical to the most absurd. They can be about anything from the morbid to the funny. I guess that partly explains why I'm balding.

But I find this to be a good exercise as it helps train my mind to be ready for different scenarios. I mean, given a scenario where you have only 1 second to make a decision, don't you think it would be great if you already know what you need to do? This exercise also makes me imaginative (actually, many times I have wanted to make movies... I even wrote to a comic writer asking if I could have certain rights to write 'side stories' based on the defunct comic -- but no reply from the writer). Sometimes, by asking myself questions, it makes me think if I would be prepared for the time when something happens.

A good example is when I asked myself recently, "What would happen when the time comes for my Gerger to 'return home'?" The question came about after a casual conversation with a friend about death and how it affects the living. The question that expanded its scope to cover every other aspect besides my pets -- my family and my friends.

We get so used to the people and our pets that every day, we sort of take them for granted. Sometimes when I am tired or just plain lazy, I tell Gerger that I will not be playing fetch with her that evening. Of course she will still pick up the bone-bone and leave in front of me, looking puzzled as to why I've not picked up her bone-bone and tossing it (her bone-bone is also a dumbbell for doggies, so throwing it is a bit 'dangerous'). And what if, that evening, something happens to her...

It is the same with our family and friends. Sometimes because of our hectic work schedules, we spend little time with our aged parents. Other times, it is because we think we still have so much of time with them that we take our family and friends for granted. But what if... What if the next day never came for them? Or for us?

How would it feel to reach my house gate and not have Gerger eagerly waiting for me? I mean, I am so used to her waiting at the gate that sometimes I get worried when I don't see her running to greet me.

Gerger, the pretty girl...
My dad commented recently about how his yearly alumni gatherings is a happy and also a sad affair. Happy because they get to see long lost friends. Sad because they seem to lose a few members with each annual gathering. When I heard that comment he made, it just sort of stuck on me after that... Can you just imagine how it would feel, if one day, we have to return to an empty house instead...

On the other hand, what happens after death? Will we still be conscious or aware of our surroundings? Or will everything just STOP? And what happens during that split second when someone gives out their last breath? How does death feel like? Is it painful? When the heart stops beating... And the brain is slowly dying... Are we aware? Or would it be like a 'dream' sequence?

Hmmm... Maybe the Qingming is getting to me. But you know something? There will come a time when I will make the same remark my dad made about his alumni gathering. This just makes me treasure my time on this planet even more. And more importantly, by asking myself questions, I realise I need to love and appreciate my family and friends even more than ever. It is only during our limited time on this planet that we can show them how much we care.

I love you all... :)

Labels: me, thoughts

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